Transforming Self Through Renewal of the Mind
by Mary Jane
Mapes
My daughter Lisa called me the other night from Spain where she is spending the semester studying. It was 2:30 a.m. in Granada. Something had to be wrong.
"I love you, Mom," was all she said when I answered.
"What's wrong, Lisa?" A phone call at 2:30 a.m. is more than just a call to chat.
"I just needed to call you and let you know how much I love you and Dad and Joey," she said again with a deep sigh and a weightiness in her voice that heightened my angst.
"Lisa, what's wrong?" My heart was now racing.
"Oh, Mom, one of the fella's from our group was so excited because his sister was coming to visit him. He couldn't wait to introduce her to all of us. Well, what he didn't know was that she was coming to get him to accompany him home for the funeral of their other sister who had been killed in an accident. And all I can think, Mom, is how sad I feel for him, and how glad I am that it wasn't me that someone was coming for. I couldn't sleep. It just seemed important that you know how much I love you."
How sad to think that it often takes misfortune to be reminded of how precious, fragile, and fleeting life can be.
A friend of mine had not spoken to her mother for almost five years. Last month her mother suffered a massive heart attack and my friend called her. I do not know what was said, except that mother and daughter re-connected at some level. Her mother has since suffered another massive heart attack and is in a coma. My friend drove down
this past weekend to be with her.
All I can think of are the wasted years of silence that might have been spent sharing and laughing and loving. I'm left wondering if the reason that served as a wedge between them could have been dissolved years ago if one of them had been willing to forgive.
Forgiveness seems so difficult because it demands that we surrender our need to be right, to justify ourselves, to invalidate the other, and to avoid accepting responsibility. From personal experience, however, I have learned that the payoff is worth it. With forgiveness comes renewed vitality, greater happiness, and the ability to be in full expression of who and what we are intended to be--loving, caring, giving, gracious beings who make the world a better place to live.
Spring is a time of renewal. It's a time when we reassess our lives, our relationships, and our work. Why not let it be a time of transformation through the renewing of our minds. Rather than seeing others with negative intentions, why not see them as people with positive intentions, but different from our own. Rather than seeing others as obstacles in our path, why not see them as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and grow in the process. Rather than looking at others and seeing the differences, why not look at them as people who need the same thing we do--the love and acceptance of others.
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