Listening Barriers Lead to Big Trouble
by Mary Jane
Mapes
To many people, listening simply means keeping their mouth shut while the
other guy talks. In reality, it's a much tougher job!
Hearing is physiological. We can literally hear what someone else has just
said.... we can even parrot back the words....and still not understand what the speaker
meant by the words used. Listening, on the other hand, is psychological, whereby, I am
able to step out of my shoes and step into yours so as to understand the world as you do.
The fact that we can hear without understanding is pretty scary when you
consider that from 45% to 70% of our waking hours are spent listening. Your ability to do
your job effectively, selling or serving your customers (internal or external), depends on
your willingness and ability to really listen with understanding.
Unfortunately, a number of barriers stand between us and our understanding
of the other guy. One such barrier is the belief that you will find meanings in words,
when, in reality, meanings are only to be found in people. Since we all communicate and
send meaning based on our own experiences, we must listen actively to fully understand the
meaning to the other guy.
A friend of mine worked in a hospital and complained often about how
impatient some of their patients seemed to be. Then, the time came when she found herself
in the hospital with kidney stones. Feeling the need for stronger pain medication, she
pushed the buzzer for the nurse. She said that it seemed like an eternity before the nurse
on duty responded to her call. But when she looked at her watch, she realized that it had
only taken three minutes for someone to respond to her. It was only then that she realized
that a quick response held a different meaning, depending on the circumstance.
Another common barrier to effective listening is interruptions. It's
incredibly annoying to have the person who is supposedly listening to you, interrupt to
take care of other things....things like answering someone else who interrupts with a
question, or answering a ringing phone, or looking over their shoulder to give information
to a co-worker at the next desk. It's not only annoying, it sends the message that we're
not important enough to be given undivided attention.
If you're the listener, be sure to do whatever possible to eliminate
interruptions. You will make more efficient use of your time, you will learn more, and you
will score points with others who know they have your undevided attention.
Self-interest can also stand in our way of listening effectively. This is
when we listen only for those things that appear to be in keeping with where we want the
conversation to go…things that seem to follow our agenda.
I work with lots of sales people, helping them to make more effective
sales presentations. When doing mock sales calls, I often hear the customer raise an
objection that could be dealt with immediately, and yet the salesperson will ignore it and
go right on with his presentation.
For example, I was listening to a presentation by a sales person who was
selling diagnostic equipment to physicians. In his presentation he had focused on
introducing his company's data management program to the doctor as a way of getting a foot
in the door so that he could eventually sell his other products. The physician customer
commented that his patients were concerned about the pain involved in monitoring their
disease through testing. This was a concern that could have been handled with ease, and
would have naturally led directly to the sales person primary product, diagnostic
equipment. But because the sales person was blocked by self interest, his focus on data
management software, he totally missed the comment regarding patient pain, and, therefore,
failed to capitalize on an opportunity to showcase his star product and close the sale.
Self interest is the greatest stumbling block for many sales and service
people. People buy for their reasons, not for ours. And, if we listen closely, we discover
that the customer will tell us exactly what's needed to make the sale.
The list of barriers goes on and on. Eliminating the barriers, and
becoming a more effective listener, isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. Our
ability to actively listen is the one skill that, when practiced, leads to greater
understanding, stronger relationships, greater connectedness, more influence, a stronger
presence, more accountability, better results, and increased sales.
©Copyright 1999-2006 Mary Jane Mapes All rights reserved.
Top
of page
You may reprint or repost this article providing that the following
conditions are met:
- The article remains essentially unaltered.
- Mary Jane Mapes is shown as the author.
- The notice Copyright 1999-2006 by Mary Jane Mapes or similar appears on the article
- Contact information for Mary Jane is included with the article. You may refer readers to
this Web site as a way to meet this requirement, or use the information on our contact
page.
- Any other reprinting or reposting requires specific permission which is almost always
granted.
Core Attitudes for Success || Understanding Others || Creating Customer Loyalty
Developing Influence ||
What Clients Say || Bio/Credentials || Main Page
Learning Resources ||
Shopping
Cart || Ask Mary Jane
Copyright 1999-2006 by Mary Jane Mapes, CSP.
Email us at MaryJane@MaryJaneMapes.com or Click for Contact Information |
